do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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