i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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