Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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