Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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