Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize