You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize