Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize