I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
worst night to have a conscience
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
me + whiskey = a bad person
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize