she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
