dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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