well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
