Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
