Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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