she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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