wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
