escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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