it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
