Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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