I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
