no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
