i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
