My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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