I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
