I'm really into asian looking animals
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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