what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
