He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
