yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
