Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
