C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
