I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize