Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
