Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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