the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You ruined the universe
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
