Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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