Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
