Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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