If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
