What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
