With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
