I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
