honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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