Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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