Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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