Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
