If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
