Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
