Got a toothbrush?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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