the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
