I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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