Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
