u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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