i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
