My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
