thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
