Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
