After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
