SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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