Moan for me like Helen Keller
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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