i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
